The Return
by linesandwords
Summary: Hermione and Harry suffer from a separation and after a couple years finally reunite as friends...and perhaps more.


I don't own anything. No copyright infringement intended

The Return

I can feel my heart beating and pounding its way out of my chest. My hands are shaky and I can barely stand on my own two legs. I'm so nervous i feel sick. I haven't felt this way in a long time. That was 4 years ago and thankfully the outcome was the defeat of the dark lord and Harry's ultimate triumph, however this time i have no idea how its gonna end or what's gonna happen.

I run to the bathroom thinking I'm about to vomit, but fortunately i haven't eaten anything today and nothing comes up. I move in front of the sink and stare in the mirror in front of me. i can barely recognize myself, I'm pale with dark bags under my eyes, and it looks like i haven't had a proper meal in weeks. All this stress is catching up to me. I can't help but reminisce about that day - the day he killed Voldemort - and about the war and how it changed him. Actually, if i'm honest it changed all of us, just him the most. I'm not naive enough to think that anyone would come out of such an experience unchanged, I mean just think about it for a second, if you had to go face death, lead, fight, and be war hero all at the tender age of 17 how do you think you would come away from the experience? Most 17 year olds only have to worry about who they're going to take to the next school dance.

Anyway, as I was saying, the war changed all of us, but it made him unrecognizable. It feels like a different life time when I think back to the days we first became involved, the way he would hold me in his arms and the way he used to kiss me, make love to me, go oh so deep ugh. It hasn't been that way in a long time.

I have a couple of theories on why he changed so drastically - maybe the overwhelming guilt he felt for all the loss of life on the side of the light, or the pressure, or he unwanted attention, or maybe just life itself, or and most likely a combination of all the above, but i can't be sure seeing how we barely spoke or communicated in the days or even months if i'm honest preceding his departure.

Our relationship started out innocent, pure, and sweet, something out of a Nicholas Sparks novel, but then the drugs, the girls, the partying, the nights not knowing what or who he was doing began. Of course he always denied being with other girls, but the stench of cheap perfume and dirty pussy when he would come home the next day always engulfed him. Ginny, Ron, and Luna didn't understand why I stuck around and still don't if i'm honest. I can just tell by the looks they give me. They think it's because i like the pain and that I'm addicted to the drama, but in reality I simply love him. I mean, when i'm not feeling like shit and look like I've gotten rest men find me highly attractive. Not to brag, but I can easily go out to a bar or club or even at work and meet someone else, but he seems to hold a power over me. Love is a powerful thing, but then again love was never meant to be destructive. Its just my luck i ended up in this whirlwind of a destructive relationship.

His 'leave' as i like to call it gave me space and time to reconsider my 3 year relationship with him and after 6 months of being in a long distance relationship found the confidence and resolve to turn the page. I wrote him a letter explaining to him that it was over. His response was immediate - begging, pleading with me to reconsider, to at least attempt to rebuild. I stood firm on my stance, which made him even more determined to change my mind. He always loved the thrill of the chase, he's a seeker in every aspect of life. After multiple failed attempts, he somehow managed to guilt trip me into visiting him (which I absolutely hated doing because of the sense of dreariness the visiting room would always invoke in me), by telling me that if he had ever meant anything to me, I would at least have the decency to end things face to face. So I gathered up all my Gryffindor courage and trust me i needed every single little bit i had in me and went to visit him. I knew that day would either open or close doors regarding each other and I was willing to accept either option. I expected him to beg for me to take him back, but of course - him being him - he completely took me by surprise and convinced me that he was ok with not being in a relationship with me anymore and just wanted to remain "friends" with me. He said that if i didn't want to wait for him or if i didn't love him anymore he could accept our breakup with peace, but he said that he couldn't live without me as a friend and as he stared at me with his expressive emeralds, he made me realize that I needed him as well in my life, I wasn't as strong as I had convinced myself. So I agreed to remain in contact with him and to be his supportive best friend. When I told Ginny this, the disappointment in her eyes was evident, but what she and all of our friends don't understand is that Harry and I were each others constants since we were 11 years old and we couldn't just go through cold turkey and end all aspects of our relationship so abruptly.

So this is where our relationship stands as of now: we are "friends", we are going to be flatmates seeing how I never actually moved out of "our" apartment which he owns, and we are supposed to act as if we have never been involved like we are still the best mates on earth, and last but not least he's coming home today and i'm due to pick him in 4 hours once he is released from Azkaban.

**Author's note:**

**ok hi all**

**i'm not sure where i'm going with this story. It was a plot bunny that just popped into my head about two days ago and i got this first chapter out in about an hour, but i don't really have an outline or know if its gonna be a happy ending or not. please review your comments will be taken highly into consideration since as i said there's no set direction for this story. :):):):) feedback please!**


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